Full of Shame.

After seeing the latest entry on Nicole's blog,
about the guys being late and everything.
I'm feeling very guilty. Cause i'm one who have
done what she has mentioned. Being late like
forever.

Almost every morning, i'm late for the gathering
at the main house. For our outings, I've always
been late too. For the Zoo outing, last week's outing
to the sunday fresh market too.
I'm so ashamed of myself.
I should be.

And I understand about the keep going out every
weekend thing. It's tiring. But i think that since we
are here, we should make the full use of the time.

But i'm sorry for not asking for their opinion as to
whether they are alright with going out to places.

And further more, last friday, I and Ben had some
arguments and now we not even on talking terms now.
And i'm having full blast guilty feelings.
On sat, we all went to the city. Ernest was asking me to
ask around if they wanted to eat subway. So i just asked,
and looked at ben. He just turned his head. I felt so bad.
Later on, as we were using the toliet, I used the the washing
basin beside ben and he totally shuned me and moved one basin
away. I was so heart-broken. I've tried twice to apologize
and hope he forgives me. But i just crashed in failure.

I'm asking myself questions like:-
Am i evil?
Am i just idiotic?
Am I just full of farts?

-feeling very down-

---------------------------------------------------

Update! (27th June 2007)

Well. Thanks to some of your concerns,
I'm feeling much better already.
And i decided to change the font color to hide
words to somehow forget the unhappiness? haha.
I shall try my best not to be late for meetings.
For ben's thing, it seems all i can do is just don't
do anything. Just let time pass by and the wounds heal.
Thanks guys!

Next Chapter:
Chapter 7: Down Town Market!